Today my little guy came to my table and gave me a packet of drink. The first time in this 3 years!
The same guy who got me downgraded as he went to tell my boss that I did not have enough time for him last year when I was doing my studies.
I thank God that I did not give up on him but was able to look past the grade and treat him as usual. This is what I was called to do, to lift up the broken souls and not for the pay or recognition.
I need to always remember that !
A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, and man cannot live without love.
Freshness
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Perhaps
After watching the 3 idiots, I feel something in me rekindled. Just feel like packing my stuff, go somewhere probably Australia to study and work there. Simply dislike the education system in Singapore and the crazy pace here and also the very boring places of 'interests'. It's like after a while, u just feel kinda sian. Watching the interviews of Nicole Seah, I am very much attracted to her passion and zeal despite her young age, how she speaks with conviction. I am really glad that I belong to the Marine Parade GRC so I get to vote. I realised that we actually studied in the same school! I like what she said about studying in the Marine Parade area all her life, from CHIJ to TKSS to TJC and that she has the heart for the place. Though competition is really really strong but at least there is some serious contending this year :)
Two more years, can it be a dream come true?
Take me and I will go. Anytime.
Two more years, can it be a dream come true?
Take me and I will go. Anytime.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Weekend, here I come :)
Keeping my fingers crossed :)
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Burnt caramel ice-cream
Eating my burnt caramel ice-cream... Wat a great way to end a tiring day at work :)
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
You are my father
Love this song...
In the light of God's majesty, alot of things doesn't matter anymore :)
Moments
Mum: 什么是natural?
佳燕：huh?
Mum: 什么是natural?
佳燕:Orh..自然lor..有人说你natural ah?
Mum:刚才我们说话的时候，他们一直说，＂你很natural,我不懂他们在说什么。＂
Mum：natural 是好还是不好？
佳燕：好 la!!
I love such conversations of the everyday life :) simple yet real :)
佳燕：huh?
Mum: 什么是natural?
佳燕:Orh..自然lor..有人说你natural ah?
Mum:刚才我们说话的时候，他们一直说，＂你很natural,我不懂他们在说什么。＂
Mum：natural 是好还是不好？
佳燕：好 la!!
I love such conversations of the everyday life :) simple yet real :)
Monday, April 18, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Marriage
How do two people know they want to marry each other? Does it happen one morning when they wake up n it suddenly occurs to them or is it cos the time is right or what?
Friday, April 15, 2011
Take it slow
Yes, it's official. I am now a masters student :) just received my certificate by mail last night and it brings a slight cheer to my heart. God has the best way of encouraging me when I feel low. A dream I had five years ago now fulfilled. I know God's hand has been in this all along. I had never been so clear about something.
I did a few good things for myself... Reckon I need to get my life right... At least in the areas which I still have control over. Changed my contact lens to daily disposable n w retained moisture, a new toothbrush, an eye cream n a desert to complete my night. Oh, and a show I had always wanted to watch though i din get to watch it. Rather catch up on my sleep, enough activity for the day.
I realized these are things which I have been putting aside since dunno when n they r like long overdue but I jus din feel like doing much after wrk but rather go home directly n eat n rest earlier. Feel like crying again. God, I need to know that you r God n I m not. A sudden feeling of lostness. Am I at another stage of quarter life crisis?
Today I jus wan to take it real slow.
I did a few good things for myself... Reckon I need to get my life right... At least in the areas which I still have control over. Changed my contact lens to daily disposable n w retained moisture, a new toothbrush, an eye cream n a desert to complete my night. Oh, and a show I had always wanted to watch though i din get to watch it. Rather catch up on my sleep, enough activity for the day.
I realized these are things which I have been putting aside since dunno when n they r like long overdue but I jus din feel like doing much after wrk but rather go home directly n eat n rest earlier. Feel like crying again. God, I need to know that you r God n I m not. A sudden feeling of lostness. Am I at another stage of quarter life crisis?
Today I jus wan to take it real slow.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Just gonna take it and live with it
Feel my body failing me...the diahorea, headache, sore throat and whatever is going to come. Is it the emotional rides or the physical tow from the increase in workload and staying back at nights? well...maybe it's all. Knowing me...it all connects. God, I need your strength, I need your passion, your compassion, your rest. Ling will be going in to tell boss about her resignation in half an hours time :( Yup, it's coming. Jus realised that another colleague has jus tendered and staying till end of this month. He happens to b my fav houseparent. Another colleague telling me that she is very demoralised.
One after another after another, my heart is failing. Sometimes, I wonder why it must all come at the same time. Can't they spread out while I allow the emotions to settle first? Nope, this is life. Thrown right into your face whether u are prepared or not. Jus gonna take it and live with it.
Life pushes u to move on faster than your heart is ready. How many times do I need to experience this before I finally get numb? Maybe when that day comes I will no longer be me.
22/03/11
As I was drinking my coffee this morning, I feel that it taste pretty standard, like an everyday affair...Something I have to have everyday yet it does not have the wow feeling. Perhaps such is life, when a part of your life becomes part of you, so much so that it becomes routine and dull. I love my job, even though I go to work daily. It's never a routine. There are always changes and happenings.
11/04/11
Something's pulling me back. I am feeling a little tired but I dunno what it is. Is it a lack of sleep or spiritual dryness or what? I just feel like putting everything down and go into hibernation for a day or two. Prob it's a sign of burnout, the past week stayed back for two nights. Soon April will be over and next comes May...and June.
One after another after another, my heart is failing. Sometimes, I wonder why it must all come at the same time. Can't they spread out while I allow the emotions to settle first? Nope, this is life. Thrown right into your face whether u are prepared or not. Jus gonna take it and live with it.
Life pushes u to move on faster than your heart is ready. How many times do I need to experience this before I finally get numb? Maybe when that day comes I will no longer be me.
22/03/11
As I was drinking my coffee this morning, I feel that it taste pretty standard, like an everyday affair...Something I have to have everyday yet it does not have the wow feeling. Perhaps such is life, when a part of your life becomes part of you, so much so that it becomes routine and dull. I love my job, even though I go to work daily. It's never a routine. There are always changes and happenings.
11/04/11
Something's pulling me back. I am feeling a little tired but I dunno what it is. Is it a lack of sleep or spiritual dryness or what? I just feel like putting everything down and go into hibernation for a day or two. Prob it's a sign of burnout, the past week stayed back for two nights. Soon April will be over and next comes May...and June.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Journey
Life is funny sometimes...
When u think u have got everything going and all of a sudden u realize that u are starting right from the beginning again. All that have passed are all just part of what makes the foundation for something greater, something bigger.
The journey continues.
Caterpillar still waiting to be a butterfly.. Wondering when I will get there...
The beauty of aging gracefully :)
When u think u have got everything going and all of a sudden u realize that u are starting right from the beginning again. All that have passed are all just part of what makes the foundation for something greater, something bigger.
The journey continues.
Caterpillar still waiting to be a butterfly.. Wondering when I will get there...
The beauty of aging gracefully :)
Beautiful for me
Beautiful for me by Nicole Nordeman
Every girl young and old has to face her own reflection
Twirl around, stare it down
What’s the mirror gonna say
With some luck, you’ll measure up
But you might not hold a candle to the rest
“Is that your best?” says the mirror to the mess
But there’s a whisper in the noise
Can you hear a little voice
and he says
Has anybody told you you’re beautiful?
You might agree if you could see what I see
Oh
‘Cuz everything about you is incredible
You should have seen me smile the day that I made you beautiful for me
If it’s true beauty lies in the eye of the beholder
What my life and what’s inside to give him something to behold
I want a heart that’s captivating
I wanna hear my Father say
Has anybody told you you’re beautiful?
You might agree if you could see what I see
Oh
‘Cuz everything about you is incredible
You should have seen me smile the day that I made you beautiful for me
Close your eyes
Look inside
Let me see the you that you’ve been trying to hide
Long ago, I made you so very beautiful
So I ought to know you’re beautiful
Has anybody told you you’re beautiful?
You might agree if you could see what I see
Yeah
‘Cuz everything about you is incredible
You should have seen me smile the day that I made you beautiful
You’re so beautiful
Beautiful for me
So beautiful for me
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
A sad note
The day began on a sad note.
Another person leaving the team and this is the only person in the workplace whom I feel most comfortable with and now she's going. I know I should be happy for her that she is pursuing God's calling for her and deep down, I can't stop the sinking feeling from setting in. I am in great denial (numbing my emotions). No wonder I have been feeling real emotional recently, like as though God is preparing me for what is to come. The dream I had on Sunday that Ling was moving to a new place. It's scary, reminded me of that time when my dad passed away, I had a sad dream the nite before as well. All these thoughts of losses are like filling my mind.
Another shocking news which came in a conversation. It solved the puzzle in my head rite at the start when she first joined.
In a way, everything is slowly making sense but while ignorance leaves me and knowledges sets in, the pain comes along with it as well. It's draining my energy bit by bit.
Another person leaving the team and this is the only person in the workplace whom I feel most comfortable with and now she's going. I know I should be happy for her that she is pursuing God's calling for her and deep down, I can't stop the sinking feeling from setting in. I am in great denial (numbing my emotions). No wonder I have been feeling real emotional recently, like as though God is preparing me for what is to come. The dream I had on Sunday that Ling was moving to a new place. It's scary, reminded me of that time when my dad passed away, I had a sad dream the nite before as well. All these thoughts of losses are like filling my mind.
Another shocking news which came in a conversation. It solved the puzzle in my head rite at the start when she first joined.
In a way, everything is slowly making sense but while ignorance leaves me and knowledges sets in, the pain comes along with it as well. It's draining my energy bit by bit.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
10 months :)
Today is our 10 months anniversary ...Zhiyong, case u dun remember what I shared to u, I thank God how He brought us through till now, how we are both moulded and changed to where we are now. I am grateful for the many times we both choose to stay n resolve the issue despite the hurts n the times we showed grace to each other n the times we put each other above ourselves, the times we confess our sins to each other n ask for forgiveness, the times we showed understanding to each other, the times we simply enjoyed each others' company, the times we encourage n comfort each other, the times we had lotsa fun together, the times we prayed for each other n the relationship, the times we come out of our comfort zone...
I thank God for letting me experience the joy of being in a secure relationship, that by His grace, we did not give each other up even after the cooling off periods. Thanks for the flower n the eye drops n more importantly, the heart behind Wat motivated the action. I will support u in watever decision u make :)
I thank God for letting me experience the joy of being in a secure relationship, that by His grace, we did not give each other up even after the cooling off periods. Thanks for the flower n the eye drops n more importantly, the heart behind Wat motivated the action. I will support u in watever decision u make :)
Love u :)
Friday, April 8, 2011
Growth revisited
Yesterday during the training at MCYS, the trainer ended off by sharing a few quotes to encourage us in our work with the children:
"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."
"Just living is not enough," said the Butterfly." One must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
They kinda connected to me... one for obvious reasons (cos it the title of my blog! ha!) and the other about the importance of laughter. The next side of the bookmark has quotes on what children really wants from a research done. Some of them are:
Children should grow up happy and enjoy their childhood.
Do I know what is the best thing about this child?
See the child, not his problems...
These reminders set me thinking how many times I have brushed aside a little one because I am busy with all the admin work and how many times I stop them from playing with water and toys because it messes up the place and creates fights and also how many times I let one pass without a genuine smile or laughter from our session together. Actually what they want is so simple, just our presence and our undivided attention for that short period.
I had a new admission last night, a five year-old girl and she was experiencing separation anxiety, refusing to let her mother go. I just carried her and brought her back to the unit and she stuck with me like a koala bear, not letting me go. One of the girls say, "Jie, you haven take in a child like that for very long already hor." and I was thinking to myself, "ya, that's right." I have forgotten this feeling of being a safe refuge for the little ones which os part of what brought me here in the first place. Providing a place they can feel safe enough to stay in till they are ready to face the scary new place. A familiar longing was stirred somehow.
The audition for the kids, as I watched them all grown up, now performing. It brought tears to my eyes. It's like not too long ago this group were in their primary schooling years, socially awkward and low self- confidence. There I saw them all in their teens, playing the guitar and drums and singing to the song, "Once in a december". I felt so...... proud of them :) Blossoming ... I know that they will grow up to be really close friends, just like siblings as they have grown up together all these years. I thank God that they have each other to count on ..
God, thank you for giving me a glimpse into how it must feel like when u witness my growth through the years. I really hope to make you proud.
"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."
"Just living is not enough," said the Butterfly." One must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
They kinda connected to me... one for obvious reasons (cos it the title of my blog! ha!) and the other about the importance of laughter. The next side of the bookmark has quotes on what children really wants from a research done. Some of them are:
Children should grow up happy and enjoy their childhood.
Do I know what is the best thing about this child?
See the child, not his problems...
These reminders set me thinking how many times I have brushed aside a little one because I am busy with all the admin work and how many times I stop them from playing with water and toys because it messes up the place and creates fights and also how many times I let one pass without a genuine smile or laughter from our session together. Actually what they want is so simple, just our presence and our undivided attention for that short period.
I had a new admission last night, a five year-old girl and she was experiencing separation anxiety, refusing to let her mother go. I just carried her and brought her back to the unit and she stuck with me like a koala bear, not letting me go. One of the girls say, "Jie, you haven take in a child like that for very long already hor." and I was thinking to myself, "ya, that's right." I have forgotten this feeling of being a safe refuge for the little ones which os part of what brought me here in the first place. Providing a place they can feel safe enough to stay in till they are ready to face the scary new place. A familiar longing was stirred somehow.
The audition for the kids, as I watched them all grown up, now performing. It brought tears to my eyes. It's like not too long ago this group were in their primary schooling years, socially awkward and low self- confidence. There I saw them all in their teens, playing the guitar and drums and singing to the song, "Once in a december". I felt so...... proud of them :) Blossoming ... I know that they will grow up to be really close friends, just like siblings as they have grown up together all these years. I thank God that they have each other to count on ..
God, thank you for giving me a glimpse into how it must feel like when u witness my growth through the years. I really hope to make you proud.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Up ahead
It's mid-week :)
The groupwork tonight, intake interview, discipline committee meeting and orientation for new staff plus the recordings to be done. That's going to be a busy but fruitful day ... Tmr yet another round, training at MCYS in the morning and the audition for the talent show at night. Friday will be my relaxing day.
Am wearing my $8 dress which I bought online and all my colleagues says its nice and fits very well. Well, cheap can be pretty too :)
I am looking forward to the Taiwan trip, the lasik surgery and Cameron highlands trip :))
Today I want to remember that the reason for me working hard is not for that excellent grade which gives me that additional bonus and promotion but rather, the passion which led me here in the first place.
God, pls break my heart for what breaks yours. I dun wanna lose focus.
The groupwork tonight, intake interview, discipline committee meeting and orientation for new staff plus the recordings to be done. That's going to be a busy but fruitful day ... Tmr yet another round, training at MCYS in the morning and the audition for the talent show at night. Friday will be my relaxing day.
Am wearing my $8 dress which I bought online and all my colleagues says its nice and fits very well. Well, cheap can be pretty too :)
I am looking forward to the Taiwan trip, the lasik surgery and Cameron highlands trip :))
Today I want to remember that the reason for me working hard is not for that excellent grade which gives me that additional bonus and promotion but rather, the passion which led me here in the first place.
God, pls break my heart for what breaks yours. I dun wanna lose focus.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Amazed
This morning, I give thanks to God for the blessings He has given me though underserving I definitely am. Sometimes, I get so caught up with all the activities as well as resting and slacking that I fail to settle my heart to ponder about things and reflect on my life. Yet, I am ever so amazed that He is always in control :) A song came to me which is one of my all-time favourite AMAZED:
You dance over me
While I am unaware
You sing all around
But I never hear the sound
Yes God, many times I am either in slumber or deaf even when you are watching over me. The martha in me getting so caught up with the many things when only one thing is needed. Have I forgotten that I wanted to build a deeper foundation with you and that I want to draw closer to you? Perhaps its time to clear the clutter and allow space in me for you to work in me.
Father, I thank you for the unexpected bonus in April
Father, I thank you for the brothers and sisters in the new CG
Father, I thank you for new friends we make during the badminton session
Father, I thank you for the friends who may be coming for the movie night
Father, I thank you for keeping me sane and reminded of my purpose at work despite the chaos
Father, I thank you for speaking to me at every service
Father, I thank you for people in the CG who shared openly about their family problems and love life
Father, I thank you for being able to handle my emotions better in conflicts
Father, I thank you that I am never in lack and that you will always provide eventually
You dance over me
While I am unaware
You sing all around
But I never hear the sound
Yes God, many times I am either in slumber or deaf even when you are watching over me. The martha in me getting so caught up with the many things when only one thing is needed. Have I forgotten that I wanted to build a deeper foundation with you and that I want to draw closer to you? Perhaps its time to clear the clutter and allow space in me for you to work in me.
Father, I thank you for the unexpected bonus in April
Father, I thank you for the brothers and sisters in the new CG
Father, I thank you for new friends we make during the badminton session
Father, I thank you for the friends who may be coming for the movie night
Father, I thank you for keeping me sane and reminded of my purpose at work despite the chaos
Father, I thank you for speaking to me at every service
Father, I thank you for people in the CG who shared openly about their family problems and love life
Father, I thank you for being able to handle my emotions better in conflicts
Father, I thank you that I am never in lack and that you will always provide eventually
Friday, April 1, 2011
My bond
My bond will end as of 24th May 2013 :))
For now, my aim is to get excellent grade for the rest of my time here...
For now, my aim is to get excellent grade for the rest of my time here...
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