Freshness

Freshness

Monday, August 31, 2009

Pull the reins

There is this cry in me, "Can I have a little bit more time please?"

There is a strong need to slow things down. Drop the balls, stop the motion and to just allow everything to settle in before carrying on.

Like a movie fast forwarded, the scenes just keeps flashing. I have barely finished enjoying one scene before I am carried onto the next one. Overtime, I just give up trying and to let it run. I wonder if I get what is going on. I seriously doubt so. Yep, it kind of freak me out...in a way. Not the way things are going but whether they are going anywhere.

I need to pull the reins!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The little girl in me

Humans are complex creatures and when we come together, things become even more complicated. When I was studying the characters in the literature texts in my JC and Uni days, I was often baffled by the underlying meanings behind the character's behaviors. It was simply too chim for me, someone who had not been through much in life. It was like swimming in deep waters. Total clarity was almost impossible haha. As I look back, I was like..."Ahh, now I get it. I know why they do what they do (not fully) but I am better able to understand, identify and appreciate the meanings behind their choices and actions. I am introduced into a world where things cannot be simplified to a mere set of equations. The more I think I know, the more I realised how little I know. But it's a good feeling. Its the feeling of awakening. The awakening of the little girl in me.

Sometimes things don't get through till we experienced enough to truly understand.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Great news


I received the greatest news today and it brings great joy to my heart...
My two close friends and mentors are engaged :)

Now, this calls for some celebration...Yet another friend whom I have seen them through the pre-liking stage, the liking stage, the courtship stage and finally...!

May God's love hold the 2 of you together as you begin in this journey together


Friday, August 21, 2009

The unconsious mind

"Do we sometimes wake up in the morning and feel like we are not the same person? Even though we are the same, we are different."

I totally agree with the tutor on this...we all internalise experiences in different way. No one experience the same thing in the same way. Freud talks about the meta-pyschology, moving above the psyche, to embrace something more than the grey matter in our brain. Someone in class shared that he has a friend who went through a heart transplant and following that, he started to have certain memories and feelings of a different kind. His eyebrow also grew thicker. Isn't this amazing that the same heart in a different body can actually affect that person to this extent? I wonder how it feels to have someone else's heart in my body. It's a scary thought.


To bring the unconscious to conscious is when we increase in self-awareness. We move from a reactive position to a responsive position. There are things I believe, which we do unconsciously, that we may not even be aware of. A research shows that people who go into a wine shop will be 90% more likely to buy german wine if the music play in the background is german music and vice versa for french wine. This reveals how our mind sometimes play tricks on us.


Recently, I had such an experience as well. I was choosing flowers and I took a long time to do that. After taking along time, I finally made my choice, much to the displeasure of the flower seller. haha...After that, on the cab, as I was appreciating the flowers, I realised that I had chosen yellow, orange and white colour flowers and I looked at my clothing, I was wearing yellow, white and orange that day!! Is it an uncanny coincidence? I am not sure but I am certain it was affected by my mood that day though I was unaware and thought that I had made a decision based on rational thinking based on logical.

HIM Conference - Holy spirit empowered



It was a spirit-filled night...there was a prophecy which really touched me, "It's not about the intellectual transformation, it's about the heart transformation." The heart needs to be touched in order for change to take place. Knowing that something is wrong doesn't mean that we will feel guilty about doing something that is wrong. I have learnt from a workshop previously that humans are capable of possessing cognitive-distorted thoughts -thinking error, to convince ourselves that the wrong thing we are doing is harmless.

Pastor Dennis asked, "How many of you here have ever sin intentionally?" For a moment, there was a pause and a few people started to raise their hands. After that, many more hands and the auditorium was filled with raised hands. Nobody likes to think that they sin intentionally because the motive reflects our attitude towards sins but truth is - we are all fallible and good intentions alone cannot bring us salvation.

The holy spirit is likened to the dove and the wind. I personally like the analogy of the holy spirit as the dove very much:The dove never fights, the dove don't like noisy places, the dove is not territorial and once you release them, they will not fly back unless you feed it consistently.

Another point that struck me was when the pastor asks, "How many of you do not know what to do at times in your life?" This time round, many hands went up instantly. He shared a personal experience where he relied on the WOG in a fearful situation where his family and his life was at stake. "The words that come from God is not triggered out of emotional fear but it is the Holy spirit at work."We may not be 100% sure of God's next step for us but as long as we keeping going forward in the great commission, He can give us direction.

"We cannot steer the ship when it is in the harbour."

Fall - Hilllsong United



Fall
Hillsong United

I love to worship You, my God
I love to worship You, my Lord
And see Your Spirit fall in power
Your love unfolding
Gifts from heaven

I love to worship You, my God
I love to worship You, my Lord
And feel Your precious
Breath of heaven
Your all consuming love

Holy Spirit come in power
Change my heart
I want to live for You, my God
Let Your Spirit come in power
Change my life
That I may live for You my Lord
Fall on us Lord


So I yearn for You
Long to see You move
Lord, I lift my hands before my King and pray

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The Power of your name

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand

This morning I woke up tired and that would be an understatement. I had a long and draining day yesterday. When I awoke, I made a silent prayer to God, "God, please touch my heart today." It was a prayer of desperation because I know I need to stay close to Him, to be touched in the spirit so I can go through the day, with the many things ahead.

I opened my mailbox, a familiar heading stood out to me. I immediately clicked on it. In it was the most touching sharing I have heard/read for this week. I am very moved and I really thank my dear friend for the story and baring her heart :) It spoke right into my heart.

Psalm 73: 21-23
"When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.
Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (v26)

Some moments in our lives remain forever fresh. Like a scene from a movie embedded in our soul, we can recall with uncanny clarity every nuance of certain events which occured years, even decades ago. The story i share here is one of those - an unforgettable, dramatic moment in my life when the world seemed very unfair. That moment left me so devastated, i was ready to forsake my relationship with God and quit the Christian life. But God met me in that time of needs like never before. (from the book, Yet I am always with you)

For all of us, there will be such a moment/moments in our lives we are/will be able to relate to the above paragraph so well, just that it is a different scene for each of us. I certainly remember mine. The intensity of it all left me cold and a "brute beast" I was. But God's love pierced through and did His stirring. When it feels like nothing matters anymore, God is the only one we really need.

He is always with us and will never leave nor forsake us.

Monday, August 17, 2009

make a christian statement

During devotions today, my boss shared on Acts 4:5-13:

" Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them..." (vs 8)

"When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realised that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men have been with Jesus." (vs 13)

Peter and John were ordinary men with no formal education but yet they have the boldness to speak in front of a large crowd. Where did such boldness come from? It came from their relationship with Jesus, the confidence they have in God to back them up. It reminds me of Solomon Vandy in Blood Diamonds who too, is a fisherman but yet have such boldness and courage to confront the RUF. All this simply for the love of his family. Love makes us do great things. Love for a perfect God makes us do even greater things.

She went on to say, "there is no sitting on the fence". We need to make a statement with our lives. It brings me back to the sermon we had yesterday. Neither hot nor cold but lukewarm and because of that, God will spit us out of His mouth. Our Christian faith is not a passive one. It is one that requires action, motivated by the right intentions. And it is one that requires us to walk alongside with God.

It is either 100% or 0%.

God - My Refuge

Laying in the wide sea of blue
waiting for the next wave of current
to sweep me away
It brings me nearer to the shore
or is it the light playing with my eyes?

The glare of the scorching sun
burning my skin, eating in deeper
It's hard to breathe

The next wave comes along. Whoosh!
And again, and again
Will it never end?

In the distance, I see a float
It's beckoning to me to swim to it
Against the current I moved
Mustering my last bit of strength

Finally I laid on it, holding on tight
It says to me, " You are now safe in me."

Thursday, August 13, 2009

It is done, all done


It's OVER!!! :D
- For now -

energy

Saw this entry on Tim Elmore's blog and it sets me thinking. For someone who drinks red bull when I am tired/ drained, energy means a great deal to me. With it, comes performance and mental clarity. It's a horrible thing to go through a day as a walking zombie, not knowing where the day has gone.

One Way Energy
This happens more than we realize. It saps us from our ability to perform normally simple tasks. One-way energy occurs when you communicate with a group of people and they do not respond. At all. They are expressionless. There is no energy or emotional return, leaving the leader unsure whether he/she has connected. Consequently, the leader feels she must expend that much more energy to cast the vision or empower the team—leaving him drained. One-way energy is emotionally expensive for leaders. A simple speech can completely consume all passion inside the leader causing them exhaustion. Recognize this when you see it happening.

Sideways Energy
This happens far too many times in organizations. Everyone is busy but the team fails to reach goals efficiently. Lots of activity—little accomplishment. Sideways energy occurs when teams decide to perform certain tasks because they feel “close” to the mission of the organization. Unfortunately, they’re not as valuable as they should be. They cost more than they contribute. They tax more than they energize. Some leaders fail to even recognize sideways energy and their momentum fades as a result. Morale wanes. Leaders must be willing to cut any programs or projects that produce sideways energy.

Reciprocal Energy
This energy occurs when leaders find staff, team members or audience members who return the energy they receive. They are the people a leader hopes to find on a team or in a crowd as they speak. Their faces exude passion. They become stirred by the ideas of the leader and volley it back, like a tennis game. It may stir dialogue that produces better ideas than the original one. Passion is supposed to work like a fire. It isn’t lost when it is passed on to others—in fact, it grows. Reciprocal energy is what all teams and organizations should nurture. Leaders should hire staff who can and will respond in such a way.

Personal Energy
This is an important kind of energy. Leaders must consciously maintain their personal energy if they are to stay in front. Personal energy comes from two sources: growth and networks. It can come from reading books, meeting with other leaders, hearing new ideas, getting enough sleep and listening to the right content which fosters forward movement. In addition, leaders know personal energy comes from the network of people they keep that fuels them emotionally: friends, mentors, heroes, role models and accountability partners. I cover this issue in my Habitudesâ books, when I talk about the Starving Baker and Emotional Fuel. We all need to refresh ourselves.


Momentum Energy
This has been written up so much it’s almost cliché. Momentum is a leader’s best friend. Momentum energy is the energy that surfaces when a leader energizes his or her team, and the reciprocated energy mixes and becomes better than the sum of the parts. It creates synergy. Momentum happens making everyone better than they really are as individuals. This is the kind of energy leaders need to harness for the purposes of their mission. Obviously, momentum can work for you or against you.

What kind of energy are you experiencing this week?

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Treasure the friends who keep you close to their hearts








Treasure the friends who keep you close to their hearts :)

Monday, August 10, 2009

Moments like these















A Moment Like This
Everything changes
But beauty remains
Something so tender
I can't explain
well maybe I'm dreaming
But till I awake
Can we make this dream last forever
And I'll cherish all the love we share

Benson and Priscilla's wedding





Friday, August 7, 2009

Trac's trip updates

Yan zi and Trac with one of the youths... they say he looks like Jiansheng haha


The boy is so cute, there is a story behind her and the boy :P


Trac says she gets to see the sunset everyday where she is staying!! So fortunate :)



Yes, I am missing you :)
Come back soon

If I really loved myself, I would...

I read a book yesterday, "If I really loved myself, I would..." the single sentence on each page shows what the author did. Eat organic food, stop bothering about what other people think of her, throw away too tight clothes, walk in a park everyday and so on.

I asked some gals what their answers will be and this are some of them:

Love God more
Sleep more everyday
Exercise every week
Just relax
Stop pushing myself hard
Ignore the cares of the world
leave everything behind and go on a tour around the world
Not worry and just smile in my heart
Exercise regularly
Make people laught
Lead a fruitful life everyday
Quit my job
Whip out my camera, travel, write articles on poverty
Spend the rest of my life fighting to make a difference
walk along the beach every night
Cook for my family and friends
Relax at cafe and read a book
Live by the beach and enjoy the sea breeze
Let the people I love know that I really love them
More daring to be myself
Allow my burdens to be shared by others
Love myself for who I am

What's yours?

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

ENDanger

Today was rainbows. We talked about anger. Anger, someone said to me...when you add D in front, it's D-anger and when you add END in front, it's END-anger. Wondering if I struggle with it? I guess sometimes I do. Afterall, it's usually link with impatience right? Yup, that has always been an area of growth I am working towards. How does a person who struggle with anger teach a group of kids cope with their anger? Ironic isn't it? But I guess it just got to show that we are all human - imperfect. This bonds us together in our differences as we work towards overcoming our weakness together :)

I drew a big kettle and wrote, "Angry Bubbles" in it. The analogy is that when we get angry, the water in the kettle boils and if we dun lift up the lid, the kettle will......EXPLODE. Ya, the child got the answer right. We wrote some of the things that makes us angry in our families. It really melts my heart as I read them:

"My mother was sad because my father asked her for money"
"My father and mother was frighting"
"I am embarrased because I am the only one who has no mother"
" I am jealous because my brother can go with my mother"

The list goes on...

I could have added on some of mine. Bottomline: Everyone will get angry but how do we deal with it. That is what will make the difference.

Some of the answers:

"I will stay aside and cool down"
"I will ride on the horse at the playground"
"I will be nice to my mother when she is nice to me."
"I walk away"

To deal with ur negative emotions is not to pretend that it does not exist nor allow it to endanger ourselves or others. We need to deal with it in ways which works for us. Isn't it sad that the children have such limited options. How far can they walk away, how long are they allowed to stay aside and cool down, when can they go to the playground, what if they can't walk away...

your grace still amazes me

My faithful Father, enduring friend
your tender mercy is like a river with no wind
it overwhelms me covers my sin
each time i come into your presence
I stand in wonder once again

(chorus)
your grace still amazes me
your love is still a mystery
each day i fall on my knees
'cause your grace still amazes me
your grace still amazes me

Oh patient savior, you make me whole
you are the author and the healer of my soul
what can i give you lord
what can i say
i know there's no way to repay you
only to offer you my praise

its deeper, its wider, its stronger, its higher its deeper,
its wider, its stronger, its higher than anything my eyes can see
your grace still amazes me
your love is still a mystery
each day i fall on my knees
cause your grace still amazes me
your grace still amazes me

http://www.gatasi.com/video/sNClAJO2tnQ/your-grace-still-amazes-me-phillips-craig-dean.html

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Stay the same

Stay the same
Don't you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you're better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same,
cuz there's nothin' 'bout you I would change.
I think that you could be whatever you wanted to be
If you could realize, all the dreams you have inside.
Don't be afraid if you've got something to say,
Just open up your heart and let it show you the way.
Believe in yourself.Reach down inside.
The love you find will set you free.
Believe in yourself, you will come alive.
Have faith in what you do.
You'll make it through.

Monday, August 3, 2009

My best friends forever

What a week that has passed!!! Celebrated June's birthday and Trac's leaving for Cambodia for one month. My two best friends :) So different yet both so dear to me. Thanks for being in my life. As you 2 embark on this journey, may God lead you on and lead u on strong. I pray that our paths will keep crossing no matter which direction we have chosen.

June's celebration at Goodwood park hotel...




Trac's farewell @ the airport







They both look so geogeous!!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Stir it up in our hearts

Pastor Jeff says that God is longing to stir our hearts, to fill us with the passion and the spark. What is this stirring that he meant? Is it a warm, fuzzy feeling we get when we hear something which touches a soft spot in us? Or is it a burning passion within us when we experience something which resonate deeply with our personal beliefs and values? To me, it might be a combination of both and more. Something not being able to be fully explained by the intellectualisation of the mind but needs to be felt with the heart. Indeed, many times the heart can do what the mind can't do. There needs to be a connection between the two to create the SPARK. I guess there is a difference between someone responding, "Hey, I think you are right but it's for you, not for me" as compared to, "What you said makes sense and I want to be part of that." There were 3 such moments I experienced during the sermon:
We lose our child-likeness in God if we forget the promise of God.
Just like the child who does not forget the promise an adult makes to him, God wants us not to forget His promise for us.Am I able to fully trust in God even when I faced disappointments? It takes childlike faith to keep believing.
We must not only ask God for answers to our prayers. We must also ask ourselves the answers to our prayers.
God has destined for us a part to play in our life - our decision making, our thought life, our willingness to surrender to Him. Instead of asking God how He can help us, we need to ask God what His will for us is...God's agenda and not ours
Our concerns must go together with our actions.
It's easy to identify problems but tough to get our hands dirty. There will always be times when the action speaks louder than words. Whether a person will be heard depends on how much he shows that he means what he says...It goes hand in hand
What happens when you are stirred by God?