Sunrise

God, I pray we can catch the sunrise tmr :)

Thanksgiving

This morning, I thank God for:

Giving me back my voice :)

Healing me of my ache and chest pain

Zy who reminded me to trust in God

Tracy who took time to plan for our trip

Huiqi who requested to thithe and serve in a ministry

Qiaoping who msg me to update about her life

My maid who make breadfast for me daily

The p6 outing today

The warm sunshine this morning

I can thank You again and again :)may your love drive off every single fear

It's the little things that counts

It was a night for them- the little ones ... As I see them standing on stage giving their best, I suddenly realized how much they have blossomed over the years, from playful little boys into young and attractive boys.. From little giggly girls to mature sweet and confident girls :) deep down in my heart I feel proud of them :) four years with this bunch and seeing how they grow to where they are now, sometimes I feel like a mother :) I feel closer to them than even their own family cos I see them everyday... Know all their needs and etc. Sometimes it pains my heart when I see them so sad that their family can't make it due to lessons or other things. One day they will understand that these are not just events but rather, are milestones in their lives signifying their growth and recording their proud moments. Moments which they will want to share with their closest :) even the time their teeth drop, times their first period came, times they did well for exams etc etc. Once missed, its no longer the same anymore cos the excitement of sharing it is gone and never the same again. Before they know it their little ones would have grown into young adults and no longer needing that affirmation, recognition and attention from them anymore. They have learnt through the years that asking, begging and yearning for it didn't make a difference but only led to disappointment but sadly that's when the love start pouring in becos their loved one have 'settled' their own issues and finally really ready to care fir them again. But sadly they have missed everything. All the important but seemingly insignificant moments to them which is what we call - the growing up process.

Love in action

Yesterday I received an 爱心bag at the security guard post. It's twice in a row for last week. I thank God for Zhiyong and wei who came down to deliver it to me. The fruits, herbal jelly and all, it really brought warmth to my heart:) I was reminded in jc days, we will often do such sweet things to one another. I rem one of my first few cg, there was a Sis who shared that 2 other bro in the cg (one of them still around: weilong)travel all the way to her house to give her the pork floss bun from bread talk because she really likes it. That time I was really amazed and was thinking 'wow, they are so nice' :)

And now I m experiencing this for myself. Thanks：）

It's a tough period for me now but I will make it through. Thanks for putting your love into action :)

An unexpected 'climax'

I am finally on mc today and thinking to myself , when will I ever learn? When will I ever learn not to let my stubbornness get into the way... I have been refusing to see the doctor for the past week, believing that drinking lotsa water, having lotsa rest and a strict diet will do wonders. Well.. Just because it happened a few times does not mean that it will again. Lesson learnt, like a slap on the face. Then the thought.. If I had gone earlier, I may be healed already. Another slap on the face and I am going to leave it as that. I have booked the tickets to Surabaya and yes it's confirmed. Initially I was checking non-stop on all the budget airlines and to my disappointment, I have to take a transit flight cos the direct flights back are all fully booked. Morever, the cost is not cheap but thank God I managed to get direct flights from silkair at around the same price and pretty good timings. Somehow I feel that this trip is God's plan cos he provided a way out of my inadequate knowledge and inexperience. I believe he will bless the process to be a smooth one. My pride has taken a dive and it's time to keep it there till I understand what true submission is.

Less than a month to 2011...

Listen

Powerful song :)

In His timing

My cough is getting worse and I can't go for the run tmr... it's rather disappointing cos I have been going for the past two years without fail. Is this year going to be different? Though I have been drowning myself with water, controlling my diet strictly, not even tempted by the high tea sponsered.. the end result is still a bad cough, despite desperate efforts to prevent it from occuring. I guess some things when it has reached a certain point, no amount of preventive work is sufficient. Yes, I hate the feeling cos I am a strong believer that efforts will amount to success. I guess it's not going to work cos some things, no matter how much effort u put in.. if it has to happen, it has to. Just like my Korean trip ... But I do believe God has a purpose for this. Maybe he is moulding me to grow in the area of patience, of letting Him be in control. Not long ago, I made this prayer that I will not make things happen but rather, let it happen. It's a tough call for a person like me who always wants to see the results quickly and wanting to out my finger into 'helping' God. Yesterday I received the video which was sent by the 01 computer systems. I was impressed cos its very well done :) I thank God that an idea which birthed in June is seeing its fruition now, everything just as I planned according to the timeline. I admit I like the feeling of seeing my plans happen as I thought it would be. I derive a satisfaction from it :) However, this time I am prepared for it... I will obey. Surabaya, here we come :)

Rapunzel

Just watched Rapunzel with June. My favorite part of the show is this:

Rapunzel: I was scared... Now I am not scared

Eugene: I think I am starting to understand

Sweet :)

Getting my certificate tmr :)

A lovely gift washed away my blues

My trip is officially cancelled and yes, that means no more Korea, no more winter and no more skiing... Though I am taking it well, believing it must be God's plan or his protection due to the chaos there currently, I can't seem to stop the growing disapointment from setting in. It feels like the time when my application for masters was rejected. Not that I do not have my fair share of disappointments in life or that I am now wailing like a cry baby, it's just that I really wanted a well- deserved holiday after two years of slogging and giving up many opportunities.

Well ...

I thank God that he always cushion me before the fall and this time round there was no difference :) I thank God for friends whom i know with full certainty I can always count on on times of need :) Tracy and June. I was so surprised that tracy messages me yest morn and said that she left something at the guard post. The security guard even told her that if I dun collect it before 7pm, it will belong to him haha.

There, behind him, I saw my gift... A big plastic bag with a lovely sunflower, a big soft toy. It brought an immediate cheer to my heart. There was also a herbal tea, a panadol, medicated oil, a handwritten message. My heart wad warmed. I feel very blessed though it has Bern a lousy week, an emotional and dreadful one after a very long time. It was an encouragement for me ad trac wrote, "you may be down but you are not out", something I held on to for one whole year during jc days.

I look forward to tonight's meetup w June and next Monday w Tracy, friends who will always find tome to meet me if only I ask.. And also sun with Meiyan. Jiayou Jiayan!!!

Me time :)

Pondering on many things...

I look forward to my personal retreat this Saturday. I can feel the focus coming back again. Another night of personal time, I am enjoying it. Getting in touch with my inner self. And best of all, my best friends are finally back. Can't believe nov is already over, good times passes really quickly, sometimes leaves u feeling that u dunno what u have done. One more month to the new year!

I am 27:)