Pull the reins

There is this cry in me, "Can I have a little bit more time please?"

There is a strong need to slow things down. Drop the balls, stop the motion and to just allow everything to settle in before carrying on.

Like a movie fast forwarded, the scenes just keeps flashing. I have barely finished enjoying one scene before I am carried onto the next one. Overtime, I just give up trying and to let it run. I wonder if I get what is going on. I seriously doubt so. Yep, it kind of freak me out...in a way. Not the way things are going but whether they are going anywhere.

I need to pull the reins!

The little girl in me

Humans are complex creatures and when we come together, things become even more complicated. When I was studying the characters in the literature texts in my JC and Uni days, I was often baffled by the underlying meanings behind the character's behaviors. It was simply too chim for me, someone who had not been through much in life. It was like swimming in deep waters. Total clarity was almost impossible haha. As I look back, I was like..."Ahh, now I get it. I know why they do what they do (not fully) but I am better able to understand, identify and appreciate the meanings behind their choices and actions. I am introduced into a world where things cannot be simplified to a mere set of equations. The more I think I know, the more I realised how little I know. But it's a good feeling. Its the feeling of awakening. The awakening of the little girl in me.

Sometimes things don't get through till we experienced enough to truly understand.

Great news

I received the greatest news today and it brings great joy to my heart...

My two close friends and mentors are engaged :)

Now, this calls for some celebration...Yet another friend whom I have seen them through the pre-liking stage, the liking stage, the courtship stage and finally...!

May God's love hold the 2 of you together as you begin in this journey together

The unconsious mind

"Do we sometimes wake up in the morning and feel like we are not the same person? Even though we are the same, we are different."

I totally agree with the tutor on this...we all internalise experiences in different way. No one experience the same thing in the same way. Freud talks about the meta-pyschology, moving above the psyche, to embrace something more than the grey matter in our brain. Someone in class shared that he has a friend who went through a heart transplant and following that, he started to have certain memories and feelings of a different kind. His eyebrow also grew thicker. Isn't this amazing that the same heart in a different body can actually affect that person to this extent? I wonder how it feels to have someone else's heart in my body. It's a scary thought.


To bring the unconscious to conscious is when we increase in self-awareness. We move from a reactive position to a responsive position. There are things I believe, which we do unconsciously, that we may not even be aware of. A research shows that people who go into a wine shop will be 90% more likely to buy german wine if the music play in the background is german music and vice versa for french wine. This reveals how our mind sometimes play tricks on us.


Recently, I had such an experience as well. I was choosing flowers and I took a long time to do that. After taking along time, I finally made my choice, much to the displeasure of the flower seller. haha...After that, on the cab, as I was appreciating the flowers, I realised that I had chosen yellow, orange and white colour flowers and I looked at my clothing, I was wearing yellow, white and orange that day!! Is it an uncanny coincidence? I am not sure but I am certain it was affected by my mood that day though I was unaware and thought that I had made a decision based on rational thinking based on logical.

HIM Conference - Holy spirit empowered

It was a spirit-filled night...there was a prophecy which really touched me, "It's not about the intellectual transformation, it's about the heart transformation." The heart needs to be touched in order for change to take place. Knowing that something is wrong doesn't mean that we will feel guilty about doing something that is wrong. I have learnt from a workshop previously that humans are capable of possessing cognitive-distorted thoughts -thinking error, to convince ourselves that the wrong thing we are doing is harmless.

Pastor Dennis asked, "How many of you here have ever sin intentionally?" For a moment, there was a pause and a few people started to raise their hands. After that, many more hands and the auditorium was filled with raised hands. Nobody likes to think that they sin intentionally because the motive reflects our attitude towards sins but truth is - we are all fallible and good intentions alone cannot bring us salvation.

The holy spirit is likened to the dove and the wind. I personally like the analogy of the holy spirit as the dove very much:The dove never fights, the dove don't like noisy places, the dove is not territorial and once you release them, they will not fly back unless you feed it consistently.

Another point that struck me was when the pastor asks, "How many of you do not know what to do at times in your life?" This time round, many hands went up instantly. He shared a personal experience where he relied on the WOG in a fearful situation where his family and his life was at stake. "The words that come from God is not triggered out of emotional fear but it is the Holy spirit at work."We may not be 100% sure of God's next step for us but as long as we keeping going forward in the great commission, He can give us direction.

"We cannot steer the ship when it is in the harbour."