Breathless

Head throbbing ... it's a horrible feeling but nothing beats the thought of the many unfinished business. Nothing gets forgotten, nothing gets sidestepped...a responsibility remains a responsibility, a deadline remains a deadline. There is no need to keep track of it, the internal barometer does the job well enough. Rain or sun, the heart gets it first. The body almost feels weakened, is it the part when I have to sprint again? Why is it that the body is not rising up to the occasion? Maybe it's feeling tired or maybe the heart is. It's hard to tell which is which. Like the chicken and egg theory. Sometimes I wonder if its something only I face and everyone else is doing great, like how it should be and I am like trying to flow along, pretending that I am part of all that. I can't pretend to be ok when I am not. I don't know how to do that. Trying to get the passion back... it's going further from me now.

--------------------------------------------------

My mum and sis were talking about her boyfriend and saying that he smokes and the conversation went into one on the bad effects of smoking and blah blah blah.... on and on it went...somehow my heart just cringe at how someone can evaluate someone else's life like as though it belongs to them. It's probably human nature to think that the other has to fit into this perfect mould that we have. If not, it's either he change or the deal is called off. Who are we to set such conditions for another. Who are we to hold a measuring scale when relating to another, even if that person is our boyfriend or girlfriend. Won't it just get more tiring each day, to have to meet up with that scale which just keeps increasing as the day goes by. Never good enough. When it gets to that point, there is no longer an equality in the relationship. One is deem to be superior over the other. The relationship becomes imbalanced. Who can say he is good enough?

Only one person has the answer and that is definitely not any of us.