Age matters

Today a coursemate asked me, "Jasmine, how old are you? 25 years old?" Immediately, I said, "No la, I wish I am that young" and she asked if I am 28 and I said yes. Well, I guess I mean around there.

I find myself wanting to look older than I actually am, ever since I began on this course. It's like, I get more recognised in my profession as I get older. At least I realised this is slowly seeping in me, the need to pull off as someone older. While I believe that maturity is not about age alone but I do have to admit that it helps to be of a certain age as people still equates age with knowledge, experience and wisdom.

So, while every other women is desperately wanting to be seen as younger than they are, here I am wanting to look older. Sometimes, it really gets to me when people like my boss says, " you are still young" or comment on someone who is around my age or younger than me, saying that he/she has not seen enough in life. Perhaps it's my insecurity speaking but age definitely holds some weight in forming first impressions with others.
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I really appreciate advice given by a senior at TFSC...I was sharing with her my struggles on clocking my hours due to the demands at work. With many pple leaving once again and the need to orientate new staff, I am basically doing a few people's job once agn including my colleague who was on MC for 8 days... I felt like I was an octopus.

She shared with me that it is impt not to have the feeling of being TRAPPED, that I dun have to think that I am bonded and that's it. It will just cripple me. She shared that I can think of other options such as borrowing money to pay off the sch fees, asking for promotion before I leave since I m so indispensable now. Whether or not I break my bond, at least I know that I have another way out. I think what she says makes a lot of sense. We do have a choice in everything we do and even in controlling how we feel. I cannot allow the feeling of being trapped to take away my joy.