Action is louder than words

When we do something wrong, we usually come up with the "But I" so that it will not appear half as bad and we won't feel that bad about ourselves. I myself have done that many times in my life. To my family members, friends, boss, colleagues etc. Does the truth hurt so much that it is hard to face it? I realised it does actually, at least for me. It's like, I can't believe I actually failed...how can I make that mistake at work?" I realised also that not dealing with it doesn't make it any better but rather makes it worse. What goes round comes round. The sorries may suffice for the moment but what comes after speaks a lot more. I for one, am someone who believes that actions speaks a lot louder than words.

Luke 3:8

"Produce fruit in keeping with repentance..."
 
2 Corinthians 7: 8-13
"Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. So even though I wrote to you, it was not on account of the one who did the wrong or of the injured party, but rather that before God you could see for yourselves how devoted to us you are. By all this we are encouraged. "


Yesterday I had supervision at TFSC and I was sharing with my supervisor my work demands and all. We got into an interesting conversation about being "the voice in the desert" as he encouraged me to be. I told him that I cannot becos I am but a small fry and he inspired me with his own examples and how, right now he is still battling with NCSS for his organisation and staff's welfare. After his help with writing to the university on my behalf, there is finally some light at the end of the tunnel. My boss has relented and this is her email to me today:

"I've agree on supporting you your placement hours, 2 times a week; every Monday afternoon and Thursday afternoon. You are not required to make up for these hours. However, should you need more of these hours, you are required to apply for leave. Hence, I would need you to give me the extra hours taken for the month of May.
I will forgo the extra hours take for the previous months. I need this information by the end of the day.  Please understand that your presence in the Home is required for you to keep up with the work demands. Thank you for understanding.

I can only say that the wall has cracked and it helps that I have indeed been trying to keep up with the work demands of the Home, hopefully not just from her :P After two mistakes highlighted by her previously and one short of a warning letter, my self-esteem is resumed. I thank God that there has not been any mistakes since and things are picking up once again.

5 more months, maybe I can really do it after all :)