What happens after the 1st impression matters more

A few days back, at Wfl, this guy said that he wanted to write a book in order to 'make it' as it is a trade secret. To me, it's kind of sad to use such ways to convince cos that's not the real stuff at all. The real stuff is what makes another's heart skip a beat even without trying at all. Simply put, it speaks for itself. Trying to fake happiness and shutting down the 'voice' does not mean that it it is not there. Hasn't he heard about the pink elephant theory? Well, at least one thing I do agree which is to focus on the blessings and be grateful daily. Now that's biblical. Cos we human beings are so forgetful, it takes God to remind us that we are saved already . While it may be scientifically proven that it takes 21 days to create a habit, I do not agree that we should be doing something for the sake of it. To me, 21 days or not, the motivation has to come from within. If that is something which u really believe in, you will want to do it albeit with reminders on and off ( we are human after all and the flesh is weak) but not to force ourselves to make it a habit. Well, maybe I am biased but such superficial ways of building first impressions irks me... Cos next time when I see him, I will wonder what is behind that bright sunny smile of his... Is it one which radiates from the heart or just a means to get his end met. I know I will never be sure. I guess I still prefer the old fashion way of stumbling through a few hiccups and misunderstandings but eventually being known for we I am, a point when selling is no longer a concern because I know that I am simply loved fir who I am. Not that perfect smile, perfect posture, perfect speech, perfect voice or perfect way of pronoucing 'teeth' with the th. After all is said and done, first impression can only get you that far because as time gird by, it is your character which people are going to rely on to decide if they want to use ad their staff, if they want to be your friend, if they are going to trust you. Definitely not that plastic. Cos it's going to melt when the heat comes on.

It is finished :)

Thank you God... I know I could never do it on my own. It was definitely you putting words into my mouth and gave me peace to deliver with calm and conviction. Two things you spoke, one on transformation and the other which is to live by faith instead of fear. Indeed what a big difference it makes. I want to do that which requires me to do what I naturally will be fearful of and exclaim to Him, 'It can only be you God'. Trandformation, not by human standards but according to God's plan and purpose. One that cannot fit a certain mould but individually planned out for me. Jiayan- sized. To be used by Him is simply to lift up my hands and wait... :)

Anticipation, excitement n assurance :)

It is finished.

A tough season

The sermon yesterday that it is not about working hard for the law but rather living s life of obedience... It's true that a rushed life is not what God meant by living life to the full but rather it is reflected in a life of obedience to Him... Tough because popular culture has told us otherwise. It has told us that we need to work hard for a better future. The beautiful house , the car, an early retirement, the promotion ... But I start to be reminded and humbled that the importance things in life cannot be achieved by hard work alone. Not long ago I said to the dmm that it is important to work smart than work hard.. True but certain things I realized it's more than that. Not about getting it faster nor rushing it but rather seeing it as a process, enjoying it and eventually reaping thr fruits of waiting. Easier said than done cos the process of waiting, moulding, dudcovering is a real tough one . You think u kinda get it and the next moment u dun and it leaves u feeling real disillusioned and back to point zero ( emotionally). It's tempting to skip the process , it is tempting to simplify things and sweep things under the carpet, it's easy to take the easy way out but has anything great come out of taking the easy way out? Tears and sweat involved. Perhaps these are but necessary ingredients of an eventually sustaining and fulfilling relationship.

Still learning... Chia jiayan, you can do it　

Depleting

Beyond words ... I felt that something in me has died, leaving only a wounding heart crying out to be healed by God alone. Romans 8:28... God has the best plan for me, something that I am struggling to hold on and believe in. Who says that it is easy to live out God's truth in our lives? The person who says that must be believing in a lie. Even Jesus himself prayed for God to take the cup from him.

Is this the thorn of flesh as prophecies over me? Am I destined to walk the narrow gate as Michael prayed for me. Probably this is a period of pruning and moulding. An emotional tug of war.

Life to the full - why do I feel like it's the other way round over and over again? The truth hurts. It cuts to the heart. Mayb I m not strong enough to handle this, I m jus a mere human w real emotions. Mayb it's time to surrender ...

The heart Is willing but the flesh is weak

I want to be more like Jesus until the end of time...

Tonight I am reminded of a prayer made sometime back but why is it so difficult now?