Is this part of aging or is it just me?

There have been the bad dreams, the worries and difficulties in sleeping.

I think I need some consistency in my life. A kind of a routine that I can fall back on without having to constantly think of the next thing I need to do - be it work or personal life. People say you reap what you sow or that you get what you pay for. To a large extent, I do believe in this. That's why I believe in hard work and taking initiative. However... too much can be a killer at times. Especially in times where there are series of activities you have to particpate in. There are so many things I want to do but I am scared I cannot finish and the feeling of not being able to do them leaves me feeling helpless about it.

Perhaps the nature of my work can be quite intense at times and many times, the unexpected happens. A child blows up in front of you, a father crying in front of you, a parent screaming in the phone .... all part and parcel of my job. Sometimes it's like a love-hate relationship. I feel very alive to be experiencing raw human emotions yet it also leaves me slumped into my seat after all the "battles".

At the end of the day, I am just wishing for a nice, warm shower and soft bed to sleep in.

But then, as I lay there on the bed, images of the day comes to mind and the things that are not settled seeps in. This and that, here and there. My mind becomes so alive till it's hard to fall into sleep. Now, that's a painful feeling being unable to rest when the environment is right. I detest that.

It's like next, next, next...............and it doesn't seem to end.