work-life balance?

What a day it has been...with the SMS last night reporting of the sexualised incident and all the investigations today. I am feeling grieved inside of me by all this things that the boys are doing to one another and sometimes it's hard to imagine those innocent-looking faces are capable of that sort of mischief. Well... it must be the fruit of sin. Sadly. The sin which is passed down from generation to generation. It's like a mixed emotion for me.

Part of me needed to be firm with them and educate them that it is wrong yet there is a part that feels like embracing them cos I do feel sorry for what has happened. I chose the safer option, the one which they will appreciate better and is demanded from my role. I kept cool and I took it in matter-of-factly. Sometimes I find my job draining in a wierd way. While it involves a lot of emotions, I have to keep it all in. That's not my preference but that is what's required of me. I need to be strong for them, to be the pillar they can lean on when they feel unsafe and confused. I know I am not God but I want to be a vessel for God. To stand in the gap between the living and the dead.

I need an emotional break today. Somewhere to find rest within.

This Sat... lotsa questions, lots to explain. Not an unfamiliar feeling but this time at least I am not alone in this.

Not this time. And that, yes, that...I can take comfort in :)