The feeling of waiting to be left behind

It's a horrible feeling waiting to be left behind, especially when it's people you feel closest to. People who used to share similar dreams, similar heartbeat and same experiences. Not sure what has happened to the "I know what you mean" moments nor the look in the eyes that tells me I am understood. Now it's more like an update, an acknowledgement. It has become, "I may not understand fully but..." and "let's catch up soon" Words, though unfamiliar but I have gotten used to but doesn't mean it doesn't prick. Perhaps it's my unrealistic expectations, or that I have chosen to be stuck where I am when all others have found their paths and are moving on. Maybe it was just an illusion, an illusion that good things will remain forever. Growing old together sounds like a distant dream and honesty just opens up the wound. It's just a matter of time but I am not willing to let go. I refuse to let go, because it matters too much. It's almost like letting go a part of yourself. But if it has to happen, it's beyond my control and the thought of it leaves me almost helpless. Then it's probably better to learn to accept and relinquish any control.