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Sunday, February 15, 2009
The 2 communication Styles
I find this pretty interesting...
There are two styles of communication, Emotional talking style & Logical talking style.
People with the Emotional talking style use words to express their own feelings and what they feel from another person. This talking style use a stream of consciousness to express and release emotional states. Feelings guide this talking style. While these people may be logical in their mental processes to do a job or to function in the world, their Emotional talking style will determine how they connect with another person in a close relationship. Having the same style of communication in a relationship provides an important tool for working out personality differences.
People with an Emotional Communication Style often drop hints about what they desire. They do not think it's necessary to be more specific because they're able to pick up on the nuances of what other people say, and they assume everyone can. Yet people with the Logical Communication Style need you to say what you mean. They don't want guesswork; they want directness and clarity. Result: ambiguity and conflict.
People with an Emotional Communication Style take time making decisions. They need to figure out how they feel, and this isn't always cut and dried, so they do not like to be rushed through the process. That can come across to the Logical Communication Style person as being dimwitted or indecisive: "Can't you just look at the facts and decide? How complicated could that be?" Result: condescension and conflict.
People with an Emotional Communication Style see the Logical Communication Style as being hyper-intellectual, out of touch with feelings. "All those people do is think, think and think some more." Someone with an Emotional Communication Style wants you to feel what's behind the words, which is the most important part of the communication. Someone with a Logical Communication Style takes the words at face value, analyzing the meaning of each one and deriving a total meaning from the sum of those parts. For instance, one person says, "I hate you," meaning, in the Emotional Communication Style, "My feelings about this are so big that I need to express myself forcefully." Once said, that releases the emotion, and it's over. However, in the Logical Communication Style, this means it's time to starts packing the bags. Hate=no love=the relationship is over. Result: miscommunication and conflict.
People with Logical talking style use words according to their dictionary definitions. They lay the words out like they are building a brick wall. They ask many questions to make sure they understand so there are no holes in the wall. They don't like loose ends or assumptions. The background or circumstances of a situation can be as important as the event itself to the logical talking style person. They are natural born problem solvers and often have good mechanical skills. The logical talking style relates only to how a person uses words to communicate. These people may have an emotional or sensitive nature but that is a different consideration from their talking style.
The person with a Logical Communication Style often stops the person with an Emotional Communication Style to clarify what's been said. The questions are reasonable in the Logical Communication Style. However, the questions break the stream of consciousness that's characteristic of the Emotional Communication Style, which follows feelings, not reason. In the Emotional Communication Style, a person just wants the opportunity to express emotion without interruption. Yet the person with a Logical Style wants it to make sense. Result: frustration and conflict.
The person with a Logical Communication Style often seems authoritative to someone with an Emotional Communication Style. People with an Emotional Communication Style can feel put down by the Logical Communication Style and may respond by being insulting, perceiving that they are responding in kind. In a long-term relationship between people with mismatched Communication Styles, you can hear strain or urgency in the voice of the person with an Emotional Communication Style as he or she is constantly on the defensive, trying to maintain some sense of equality. Result: stress and conflict.
Different Styles of Communication can leads to:
* Misunderstandings and overiding irritation with one another
* Significant energy drain
* Different friends and interests
* Difference sense of humour
http://www.matchmatrix.com/Public/UnderstandingYourMatchMatrix/Conflicts/index.cfm#communication_icon
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1 comment:
very relevant! i'm the emotional talker style. you leh?
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