The Last Quarter

It's been a long while since I come into this space of mine.

The music in the background repeating itself over and over again. The CD from Taiwan, it brings me back to the mountains at the ming shu which we stayed in and a part of me wish I am back there.

At the bus this morning, someone's handphone rang and the song" My love will take you home" came again. It was almost like a reminder to me that God's love will always take me to where I belong - in His arms.

It has been a good retreat. Fantastic place with lush greenery, the mountains and a lovely swing. I wish I can stay longer. Much has been spoken but the application is tough part. God spoke about putting Him as shepherd over my life and that my role is simply to follow and trust. The issue on self-sufficiency spoke a few times to me. Yes, I have been handling things on my own. No wonder the anxiety sets in. I shall surrender and allow Him in.

More of Him, less of me.

Things has been started and they have completed. One by one. The review board meeting. MPC. The balloting of the flat. The lasik surgery.Den the weddings to come. The last quarter of the year: Mum's birthday, travelling with ZY's parents, appraisal, Christmas and my birthday! =D And it will be a new year with a new me turning 28. Boo. Two more years to the big three and so much to look forward too :)

yes, it's official

My plant officially died today.

I wonder if it symbolises a kind of death in me as well. I am slowly losing passion for my job. Not my kids nor their parents but for the job. The huge increase in paperwork which I view as redundant and takes away time for me to do the more important things, takes away my passion bit by bit each day. I do not want to suffer from presentism... I want to be fully present for my job but as days go by, it seems even more difficult a task to achieve.

Yes, it's not the end of the world and it can be pretty discouraging. I wish for a little more time for self-care. I wish that I can take a well-deserved break without considering, reconsidering and yet reconsidering again. I dun mind working hard but slogging for what I am not convicted about just drains my energy very quickly. I am afraid to be left hanging dry again. I wish there is a way out.

Hate the back-stabbing, gossips, hypocrisy, apathy all going on at the same time as well. All but part and parcel of work life. Do I have to accept and change myself or can I remove myself from it?

You are good

You are good :)

I recall during the conference, it was being shared by Jasmine that we have to choose between the baggages and carrying the cross. Always choose the cross because it will give us freedom.

Thank God for 10 hours of sleep, yes,I feel so so refreshed now :)

Thanks God for the spirit-filled weekend. For the renewal of passion for my work, for things of Him.

Important decisions to be made this week. Lord, I pray for your guidance, I pray for your protection, I pray for your power.