Grace

As I sat there reflecting on the week that has passed, the word GRACE came to my mind.

God has been very gracious to me. To receive grace is when we receive what we do not deserve. He shows me that He loves me when I was at my weakest, when I had negative thoughts and when I was so tempted to take the easy way out.

On Wednesday, I made a terrible mistake at work.I noted the wrong timing for my child's medical appointment. Supposedly at 9am, I told the nurse it's 1015am. It didn't help that I was late and was not able to help to postpone the appointment.They waited for me at the office and I was feeling super guilty as the next available appointment would be in March. However,as I was travelling to work, the psychologist called me on my hp and asked me why the child was not there yet. I said, "I am sorry, I made a terrible mistake! I noted down the wrong timing." She replied, "It's all right, you can just bring him in at 1015 or 1030, I have no other appointments the entire morning." Phew, I was so grateful! God's help always arrives at the right timing.

My colleague has been giving me the cold shoulders for the past few days. He was unhappy because he had wanted me to apply for school transport for a child as it inconveniences him to send him to school. Though I have been trying my best to liase with the school and the mother, things are not moving due to some factors. He has not been exactly cool about it and acted out by treating the child very roughly, leading to complaints from the school. To give in or not to. If I give in, he will think that he is right to behave in this way but to not give in will lead to a strain in our interaction.

19th January 2010: This morning my colleague came to my desk and said, "Jasmine, can I talk to you?" I was prepared in my heart. It was kind of tense and he started to say very awkwardly about the few weeks that has passed and that he was being very childish. Honestly I was shocked he used that word on himself. A part of me felt like crying, probably cos of the tension it has built up for quite a while. I shared with him how I felt when he was venting his frustrations at me and he shared with me his feeling of frustration. It was good to clarify things and I am glad that I held on to my stand. I told him that I definitely understand and treat what he is saying as important and that in fact, I went on to solve the issue right after he told me. However, it was the way he spoke to me which I found unprofessional and not acceptable. He just said, "This is me, you know I am like that." Well, I wasn't really buying it but I knew it was not the time to bring that up so I left things as that. This is good enough for me at this point :)

I am reminded of what I read in a book, that we can forgive someone when the ability to love is greater than the need to be right. At this moment, I guess the latter is still stronger but I am praying for God's grace to be upon me. For the opportune time to come when He will intervene in His divine ways. Once again.

God, I need your wisdom and strength...