Joscelin Yeo: More than a swimmer

I was reading Joscelin Yeo's biography. An inspiring figure whom I truly admire for her dogged determination and clarity of mind under stressful conditions. Reading about her inner world and thoughts helps me to understand this iron lady, who has a soft side to her, beneath the cold, tough exterior she presents. I admire her for her laser-sharp focus, she certainly is a true believer of her values and the things she does. Someone with an extremely high level of self and other-awareness, she always observe her opponents carefully before and during the course of the race. These opponents eventually becomes her great friends for life, people who spur her on towards greater heights. One quote she likes a lot, which is one I happen to like too, "What does not kill you makes you stronger." I see how this is lived out in her life, in a great measure. At a young age, when most teens are very impressionable, she shines above the rest and takes feedback very seriously, putting them into practise which led to her victory. Also, she takes criticism very postively, is not easily offended. I would say, she has a very secure emotional base and strong mindset. It does not, then, comes as a surprise that she wakes up at 430am daily for 6 days a week to train for her competitions. Very humane but very talented and she certainly puts her talent in good use.

" It was around 1999 that I started to talk about my relationsip with God. I accepted Christ back in 1998 because I was desperate. Nothing seemed to be going right. School, swimming and life in general - all appeared to be going downhill. I also had a relationship that just went sour. Perhaps I was so depressed. There was nothing to motivate me. I slept all day, drank my sorrows away, and basically felt worthless.

It's not something I'm proud of. But there was no denying that this "queen of the pool" was human after all. I wished someone knew that. I wished someone could understand. I was sad, afraid and alone. I hung out with friends a lot. I always had to be around people. But strangely, even when I was among my closest friends, there was still a hollow feeling within me. I couldn't explain why. How could someone who seemed to have everything be so unhappy with life? Maybe I was looking in the wrong places to fill my void.

I wasn't in Singapore much. When I was home, I wanted to spend as much time I could with my brothers. I loved them dearly and missed them a lot. So when my older brother, Leonard, kept bugging me to go to church with him, I went. Somewhere deep down, I was so desperate for life to get better and brighter. There was a small voice in me that said, maybe, just maybe, I would get lucky and God would take pity on me and help me out a little. Leonard seemed truly happy. My mum too appeared happy. Maybe some of their happiness would rub off on me. But honestly, I fell asleep during the message.

But just as the pastor began the altar call, I woke up. Strangely enough, I felt a really strong compulsion to go to the front. My heart was beating fast and hard. It was pounding so hard that I felt if I didn' raise my hand, my heart was seriously going to pop out of my chest. "What if I didn't raise my hand? What if I miss this chance to turn my life around?" 

At the same time, I had some reservations. "What if people see me going up there? Am I going to have to deal with more questions about my swimming? Am I going to have to deal with people's curiosity? What if they keep pointing at me and wondering what's wrong with me?" All my life I had been haunted by this kind of stuff. I just wanted to run and hide under a blanket. But my inner pain was great. And public perception was not enough to prevent me from having my private moment with God. 

I share all this to emphasise Hope. Hope can help you get through tough times. Hope can drive you to greater heights. But Hope in the right thing is important. People put their faith in different things. For me, I found my hope in Christ. This has transformed me completely and helped me to lead a more fulfilling life. Knowing that God loves me simply for who I am, and in spite of who I am, is so liberating. Now I don't feel the need to live up to others' expectations. All this is strange, coming from someone who was a self-confessed atheist not long ago."

(Joscelin Yeo in On The Move: My Career, My Story)